She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
