she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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