Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize