I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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