I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
