A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
