Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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