perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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