69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
