everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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