She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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