Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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