The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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