i'm signing you up for texting rehab
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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