I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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