i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
