I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
