He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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