We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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