guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
