Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize