i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
