I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
