It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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