Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
