You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
His nipple licking is glorious
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