we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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