You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
