When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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