what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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