You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
