i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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