So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Enjoy the penises
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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