Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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