Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
