Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
