We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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