3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
false alarm. still invincible.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
