my mouth tastes like poor choices
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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