Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
