Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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