I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
