Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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