I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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