it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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