just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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