where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
