So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
