He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize