i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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