just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
