No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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