this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
