Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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