Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
