dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
