question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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