So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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