Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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